Predicaments and Ponderings Blog

We called mother-in-law one, West, because her son, in teasing, gave her that title. I also mentioned mother-in-law two and this is where I named her East and pulled from scripture a phrase, “As far as the east is from the west.” It was true. Two women couldn’t have been more different.

I felt it only fair to share the other side of Oz, so to speak and talk a little about the mother-in-law we call East.

I am convinced that God has given me the opportunity to know two TRUE angels on earth. One was my Aunt Reba. She was the person in our family who managed a family of four, worked full-time, farmed a huge garden, kept the books for her husband’s business, and cared for any and everyone in the family who had a need. I never thought I’d see another real angel until East.

East was this tiny, 4’5’ woman who could remember every person she ever met, where they lived, and who their family was. She, too, managed two boys, a hubby, and a full-time job with a local dentist. She was active in her church, and I mean physically active. East loved the Lord, and that was always her first propriety.

After the experience of West, I was a little leery about turning my back on anyone. But it didn’t take long for East to prove that not only did she consider me part of the family, but she called me daughter—not daughter-in-law. In fact, she called my other sis-in-law daughter as well. Why? Because East loved us both as her own.

In all the years I knew East, I never recall her saying one bad thing about anyone.

She did once say she didn’t trust this one person, but even in that remark, she noted that she was sure there were reasons none of us knew about to make this person the way they were. She was quick to give the benefit of the doubt and always willing to offer the underdog a second chance.

If I were to say anything about East, it would be that the love of Christ shined through her. She was happy, joyful, and kind. Her favorite thing was taking photos and making them into picture albums for folks.

If there was a group of six people, East would take a series of photos and then make six albums highlighting the occasion. When she passed, and my sis-in-law and I were sorting through the house, cleaning and donating, I opened a back closet. When I did, a stack of photo albums from floor to ceiling in the closet tumbled out on top of me. East was making albums for everyone. My sister-in-law giggled a bit during that cleaning-out phase. East never had a thing out of place in her home. She was truly the epitome of “everything has a place and everything in its place.” As we emptied out things, we found East may have been a tiny bit of a hoarder, hence why she could always come up with a gift when someone walked in the door. (She would have passed out as she realized we’d found her untidy stash of “stuff” in her very tidy house.)

East was, truly, as far as the East was from the West. I’m convinced when she went to bed at night, she hung her halo on the bedpost and gently put away her wings. She was a dear, kind, and tender woman, and you didn’t mess with her family. Under that very sweet exterior was a lion, and she could and would defend her family if necessary.

1. Kindness. What did I learn from East? The more accurate thing to say is, what DIDN’T I learn from East? But I suppose the first thing that jumped out at me was kindness. She taught me the importance of random acts of kindness and, when given in true love, could change the life of the recipient. She taught me to be kind even when it was hard.
2. Persistence – East taught me to stand up for what was right and to be persistent to not wavier. She wasn’t an activist. It wasn’t that kind of right. For East, right meant Godly. The what-would-Jesus-do kind of right. “Don’t ever be afraid to stand your ground in Christ,” she’d say as she tapped her nails on her lamp table. She knew I had a child with disabilities, and she’d seen and heard some of the terrible things that people would say and do to my son. East reminded me that even in the meanness of the world, a persistent love could move mountains.
3. Generosity – East proved daily that generosity was vital in a world of greed. Not a soul could walk through her door during the Christmas holidays and NOT walk out with some little gift. It wasn’t much, but it was wrapped in pretty paper topped with a bow. We always chuckled that little East would disappear for a few minutes and emerge with the perfect little gift for whomever. She set the example that generosity not only came in the form of pretty boxes and bows but that it came in the form of a listening ear—time. East always made time.
4. Dependence – Not on man but on the Father above. East never let a day pass that she didn’t show her dependence on the one who deserves it. I learned how valuable that lesson was when we had not one but two prodigal sons. We couldn’t have stood alone through that rough patch without leaning on—depending on God.

So, yeah. I had two mothers-in-law as far as the East was from the West. But each taught me so much. East changed addresses on January 10, 2009, and what a gaping hole she left in our hearts. She, along with her husband, raised two amazing, godly men, and the one I was blessed to marry 39 years ago became everything to me…my prince. East taught her boys well, and I hope that through the years, I’ve been able to follow in her footsteps with my boys and their wives. We’re a combined family, but I’ve never called my husband’s sons STEP sons. They ARE my boys. I wanted to love their wives as East loved me and to make them feel like they were not just the wives of my boys but my daughters as well.

I think East would be proud to see me from her view in heaven and to know how much I love her and her son, and her grandsons. I feel sure she’s pointing out any missed spots of tarnish on her halo to the master shiner in heaven.

Yes, as far as the East is from the West…my life is better because of them both.

Photo one – courtesy of Image by Mario Aranda from Pixabay  ~ Photo two – courtesy of Image by congerdesign from Pixabay

Photo three– courtesy of Image by Dottie Lambertson from Pixabay