It’s been a month.
If you’ve followed on Facebook, you’ve seen the latest disaster with the Prince. Long story short, ER visit. Emergency transfer in the middle of the night to UT Medical Center. Emergency surgery with their surgical trauma team. Seven days of hut-oh! Finally, home and recouping well.
Just an FYI, I told him I was tired of this. NO MORE SCARES!
All that to say, we are more than fortunate. This incident is the second time Tim has stood on the chasm looking in, and the Good Shepherd has hooked him with His staff and pulled him back. So, for those who saw and prayed, thank you. I believe that praying with the fire of the Holy Spirit moves mountains or repairs boo-boos.
I wish I were the person God really wants me to be. I’m not sure we can reach the standards set for the ideal relationship to Christ. We’re all excellent at faltering. But I will tell you that through this ordeal with the Prince, I spent many of those seven nights on the hospital floor on my knees.
Even in my imperfections, I felt God’s presence and His nudging me, whispering to my heart. “I AM. I can. I will. I already have. Because I AM.”
He spoke one of those five phrases each night, and the last two nights, He whispered. “I am sufficient because I AM. And then, I AM Who I AM.”
I often hear others talk about how God works in their lives and wonder if I’m a blockhead. Do I not see His activity in the mundane of my daily routine? Do I have to wait until disaster happens to recognize Him? Sadly, I had to answer yes.
I asked those same questions as I talked to others I admire for their faith. Believe it or not, they chuckled, then looked to the ground. “I do the same thing,” they’d say quietly.
“But you’re so strong in your faith,” I responded.
“Doesn’t mean I’m perfect in my faith. Like you, I’m human, and I sin. I fall. Aren’t we fortunate to have a God who understands humanity, feels our love even when we are weak, and allows us yet another do-over?”
Again, I had to answer yes.
I guess none of us are the picture of perfection, are we? I feel God wishes we were more, but He accepts us in our efforts in His compassion and love. It doesn’t mean we accept being slackers. We don’t. We continually strive to improve, and I AM follows us, there to catch us. Pleased in our efforts.
Oh Lord, God, how grateful I am for Your faithfulness.
I don’t share these things with you, so you think I am some perfect Christian. Instead, I show you these things to publicly admit my sins and shortcomings. You are, in essence, my accountability. But, at the same time, I hope you are looking at me, saying, “Oh, my, I do the same thing. (Or something similar.) Perhaps together, we can strive harder, grab that rope toward being better followers, and pull ourselves out of the earthly mire.
Those words. The ones God impressed on my heart.
I AM – Oh, because He is.
I can – Because He is God, Creator of all things. He most definitely can.
I will – His promises are not idol thoughts. He will do what He says He will do.
I already have –He is a God who can step in any direction in time. Time is not a blockade for God. He skirts forward to do what He promises, then slips back to wait for us to trust.
Those words have hung in my heart.
I turned 65 this month. There’s officially more life behind me than in front of me, and perhaps that’s why these words hold so much more meaning. Age, wisdom, and life lived led me to see their value – pay more attention. Take heed.
Either way, I am grateful for friends like you who support me in my faith walk, writing career, and learning. Together, perhaps we grow a bit more.
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