I’ve done things in the wrong order before— haven’t you? Every cook has gotten ahead of themselves and added the eggs before the butter. Oh, come on! Admit it. I’m not alone in this disaster.
There are lots of times I get lucky, and things work out perfectly, but for the most part, when I skip a step or misread instructions, things usually don’t turn out so well. Thank goodness I’ve never hurt myself. Well, there were a couple of times that I messed up on medications.
Like, once, in the not-so-far past, I was sick as a dog (to my writer friends, I know this is cliché). I’d rather be beaten with a stick than throw up, and my stomach was screaming, “It’s time to hug the potty.” This really great idea popped in my head. Chase had had a kidney stone, and the doctor gave him Phenergan to help with his nausea. “I’m going to give you about ten of these pills. Keep them on hand, should he have another kidney stone and start vomiting. You can head that off at the pass for him.” So, I labeled the bottle and put it in the cabinet.
There was my answer. I’d take one of those Phenergan. The instructions were clear. Place one tablet under the tongue every 4-6 hrs. for nausea. I did that, but it was too late. It was hug the potty time. After bowing to the throne for some time and losing my dignity, I crawled to the medicine cabinet and grabbed the bottle of medication. Since the other tablet didn’t have time to melt, I’d try another, so I took the bottle, glanced at it, and popped another under my tongue. After about ten minutes, the pill hadn’t melted. I thought it was because my mouth was so dry, so I bit down on the tablet to chew it.
That’s when doing things backward came into play. You see, I didn’t finish reading the instructions on the bottle. The one line that said, “Do not chew tablet.” Turns out that it was pretty important.
Within seconds, my tongue went numb, my gums were on fire, and my mouth felt like I’d dumped a spoon of alum in it. I began to wash out my mouth. Water, more water, and more water. It just got worse. So, I pulled up the medication on the internet and Googled chewing the medication. That’s when I learned about time-release and oh, the words, contact Poison Control immediately. Welp, my mouth was a mess, and I was still sick to my stomach. I’d just chewed a non-chewable pill that could now KILL ME. Great! Death was worse than nausea! So, I called Poison Control and got a really nice guy. A pharmacist named Doug.
“Well, Mrs. Sproles, don’t panic. This happens a lot. I actually blame the doctors for not correctly labeling the bottle. The first line should say, Do not chew. There is also a sticker that should be placed prominently on the bottle. Is there a red sticker on the bottle?”
“No, no sticker. What do I do?”
“That’s a shame. You’d have known not to chew a pill that has severe effects when crushed. Can I have your prescription number?” I could hear him tapping on his computer keyboard.
“Doug, what do I do? My mouth is on fire,” I pleaded. As sweet as Doug was, he was a bit too chatty in an emergency.
“Oh, I’m sorry. Did you flush your mouth with water?”
“Yes!”
“Oohh, that’s too bad. Water makes it worse.”
I dropped my head on the table. I’d apparently added insult to injury. “Holy cow, Doug. What. Do. I. Do?”
“Uh…milk. You can swish milk in your mouth. That will neutralize any residue. If you start to get numbness in your throat, go to the ER. Otherwise, nothing. Thumbness should subside in six to eight hours. Try to rest. Keep a close eye on your throat. And what was that prescription number?”
I was honest. I told Doug it was my son’s medication. The doctor had told us that it was fine to keep for nausea for any adult in our household, and he only gave us a small number. It wasn’t like he gave
me sixty tablets. He gave us ten, four of which Chase has taken over three days of fighting the kidney stone and nausea.
“Next time, you might not want to take your son’s medication. We tell folks that for a reason.”
Seriously, he was going to give me “the lecture” when I felt like I might die!
It took a couple of hours, but my tongue eventually began to get the feeling back, and the burning in my gums and jaws began to ease. I was spared this time from doing things backward.
Anyway, you get my drift. We all do things backward from time to time, out of impatience and/or desperation. Either way, either intention, there’s usually a price to be paid.
My daddy was an impatient person. He’d stand in his workshop in our basement trying to fix something, and after a few minutes, you’d hear a curse word under his breath. Then tools would begin to bang against the table before he finally managed to accomplish his task. But all too often, Dad’s impatience led him to what we call in the mountains, jimmy rig fixes. Oh, they usually worked, but it really only led to a short-term fix, before he had to spend the time backtracking and making the repair correctly. I guess I got that trait honestly.
There are things I am more than patient with—and then! Like, my patience hit rock bottom with people who are supposed to be cheery, but instead bring the depth of hate and despair to the surface. Like at Walmart, that one clerk who clocks in at 4:00 p.m. and by 4:03 rolls her eyes, slams things into a bag, and grunts your total. My patience is nil. Though I will go out of my way to wish her a happy day. Then turn and say to the prince, “She was so happy to serve us.” Yep, that’s where I’m pretty much on the zero-tolerance level. But then, who isn’t?
I have a friend. We’ll call her Betty. I long to have Betty's attitude. She is cheerful and happy, despite! At a restaurant, when the waitress is less than helpful, and I’m ready to nicely (yes, nicely) ask if there is a problem waiting on us, Betty will step up and be her bright, cheery self. She goes out of her way to be kind to the not-so-kind waitress. Her remark to me is always, “You never know what happened before she got to work.” I do wish I were filled with that kind of patience and goodness, but truth be known, I fail miserably. I bet you do too. I’m not alone, am I? Or maybe I am. Oh, law, I’m a terrible person.
I digress.
So, this backward thing leads me to the story I wanted to tell you to begin with. (I know, rabbit trails). We had our ladies’ circle Christmas bash. It was fun. Probably thirty women showed up, and we ate, laughed, and played a few hilarious games. But while we were waiting in line to grab a bite to eat, I walked up to my friend, Robin. She hugged me and asked how I was. I kept sliding my hand over my hip. I was trying to slide my phone into my back pocket, but I kept missing.
“Well, I can’t seem to hit my pocket and put my phone in it,” I said. The words hardly left my mouth before I brushed my fingers over my front pocket. My hand dropped in. A front pocket! Now, you may wonder what’s wrong with that picture. Well, the problem and the harsh realization were that I had no front pockets on these pants. They were just decorative stitching. The pockets were on the back.
It hit me, and I burst into laughter. “Robin, my pockets are supposed to be in the back.” She lost it. We both doubled over laughing. “My pants are on…”
Robin finished my sentence. “Backward.” Yep, I’d worn my pants all day long, back

ward. It’s sad to think that I didn’t realize that. What’s worse, wearing your pants backward or not noticing that your pants are on wrong? The truth is, I did notice they pulled up and down a little tight when I’d go to the potty, but I thought the weight I’d suffered to lose might have snuck back. Nope, that’s not it. Your pants fit much better when you put them on the right way, not backward!
Oh my. Only in my world. We have to find the humor, right?
If that doesn’t top off your morning, here’s another quick story. I got a huge roll of quilt backing from Mom’s building that she wouldn’t use. I wanted to put it around the children’s Christmas tree I’d set up at Church. You know…snow under the tree. So, I was on my belly, under the tree, stuffing batting when I felt this hard place in the material. I rolled to my side so I could use both hands to untangle the lump. I figured Mom had missed a Christmas ornament when she last used it to decorate her Christmas display. So, I began to unwrap the hard lump. I made it to the last fold when I realized it had a tail. Oh, my. I kept digging through the batting until it gave up its secret. A mummified mouse. It wasn’t a skeleton. It was a mummy. Hair, whiskers, tail, and all…mouse. I took it by the tail and held it up like a lollipop. All alone, in the fellowship hall at church, I lay on my belly laughing until tears dripped off my cheeks. What a Christmas gift for the children at church. A mummified mouse. Not quite the Christmas cheer they would anticipate.
My point to these escapades is simply that humor exists all around us, and when we feel like we can’t find anything else complicated or bad in our lives, a little humor is MUCH. I remember a song the Imperials used to sing,
Little is much when God is in it!
Labor not for wealth or fame;
There’s a crown, and you can win it,
If you go in Jesus’ name.
(Public Domain, Little Is Much When God Is in It, Kittie L. Suffield - 1924)
It’s easy to get caught up in the chaos, but it only takes a little effort to change the entire moment. Like my friend Betty, a little extra effort to an unpleasant waitress turned the entire moment around. Before we left, our waitress actually made a sincere effort to take special care of us. And why? Because Betty put in a little effort, the reward was much.
Sometimes, we need to step backward to move forward. Of course, it’s best to read the instructions first, but instead of allowing frustration to be our first response, step back. Look for the good, search for the possibility. Add a little effort. Remember, little is much when God is in it.
I’m learning this, and honestly, I’m not a mean person, but I’m regular. I mean, I’m like most folks who don’t always take a step back and think first. I’m backward in that respect, but I’m learning. Or, I’m trying to learn. I know this part of me needs work. In fact, the prince has commented on my improved status with rude wait staff.
Little is much, if only for one last effort. Make the effort.
Photo 1 – Image by bfairbridge from Pixabay; Photo 2 – Image by rickey123 from Pixabay Photo 3 – Image by Keith Bond from Pixabay; Photo 4 –Image by Michael Tungelund from Pixabay
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