Never Look Back

Never Look Back
Friday, August 2, 2024 by Cindy Sproles

I recently saw a post on Facebook that asked the somewhat profound question: Do you look back?

At first, I scoffed at such a silly post, citing that the question was senseless. I passed by it, not giving it a second glance. However, the question hung in the back of my mind. Do you look back?

That question bugged me for a couple of weeks. Every time I scrolled through my feed, there it was. It didn’t seem to have shares or likes attached, so apparently, others felt like I did—a senseless question. But if it was so pointless, why did it pester me?

Mom will turn 98 this month. Ninety-eight! Holy cow. She can feasibly hit 100 years old with her excellent health. She’s active and happy. In fact, we just had a doctor visit where the doctor told her she hoped she would be as fortunate as Mom to be this healthy when she hit 98.

I tell you that because my brother and I are finally starting to see those little signs of aging in Mom. We’re fortunate she doesn’t have dementia or anything like it. Her mind is sound, but she is beginning to forget little things that an aging body tends to forget. Dates, a loss of a word or thought midstream, again, minor. We all have them. I walk into a room and have to stand there a minute to remember why I went to the trouble to go into that room. You relate, right?

So, on the way to take Mom home after her appointment, we drove past a motel that was being demolished. “Oh, you remember the people that owned that. They led your Girl Scout troop and then offered it to you to be the leader. You told them only if you could move up each year with your girls in the troop.”

“Mom, what are you talking about? I’ve never been a Girl Scout leader. I have four boys.”

And there it was—a blank stare. Mom didn’t have a clue. I waited before I said anything else. In a second, she waved her hand at me and said, “Never pays to look back, does it?” She laughed and reminded me it was her who had the troop. The memory was hers, not mine.

It seems that for most of us, looking back is not always fun. For the life of me, I don’t understand why our first recalled memories are less than pleasant. Seems we must swim through a river of floating baggage before we get our feet on the dry land of happy memories.

For me, there are lots of happy memories that I’ve recalled zillions of times: friends, fun, Christmases past. But the memories that come back most vividly are the ones with my boys. The shocking thing is my boys don’t always remember things the same way I remembered them. I could probably debate the memory of giving birth with one son, and he’d swear it wasn’t the way I remembered it. The kid probably remembered his first thoughts at birth (If anyone could remember that, it would be him.)

For instance, the Prince and I went to Universal with our adult sons a few years back. My boys know I hate roller coasters, but they also know that I ride them, not for the love of the coaster, but because I want the experience with them. Cameron and I frequently debate the Universal trip and my riding “The Hulk” roller coaster. You see, I distinctly remember being catapulted out of a long tube, glaring lights on either side of me and shooting out into the daylight, into a loop-de-loop, at which point the coaster suddenly came to a halt as we were coming down one side of the loop. I REMEMBER hanging sideways, hardly able to breathe.

My son says, “No, Mom, we weren’t hanging sideways.” For the record, my recollection is yes, we were, but again, one of those times, it doesn’t pay to look back.

All this is to say that we spend too much time living in what was instead of what is. So, the adage, there’s a time and place for everything, rings true. There are times when we need to pull from our past and recall. Sometimes, it’s a sweet memory, a necessary need, or simply to reminisce, but other times, things need to stay in the past. You know, never look back.

As I face more time behind me than in front of me, I’m learning that the past baggage that wants to seep to the top of my memory list is less important than the joy I have since the bags floated down the river and over the falls. Suddenly, that Facebook post made a little more sense. Do I spend my time looking backward, or do I turn and face the future and all of its excitement and, yes, probably some rough spots?

I hope I will find fun in the adventure of what will come and not waste my time dragging those bags back up the falls. Let ‘em go. There’s nothing in them worth having. The memories enclosed there are rough, torn, and sharp. Do I need them? Nope.

So, I pose the question to you to seriously ponder for yourself. Do you look back?

Photo 1 - Image by Joe Murphy from Pixabay/ Photo 2 - Image by Connor Johnson from Pixabay/ Photo 3 - Image by Grégory ROOSE from Pixabay

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Comments

Sharmel O''Neill From Arcade, NY At 8/5/2024 9:42:19 AM

Yes m’am, I have to agree that looking back is good for me only to remember what not to repeat. The older I get the more I appreciate that others have such different recollections. I have two younger sisters and at times, one would think that we grew up in three different families.??

Reply by: Cindy Sproles

I know. I can't believe how my children remember things so differently. I've always laughed and said, "Of course, I'M RIGHT. You remember what a kid remembered." lol

Vickie Suddeth From Simpsonville SC At 8/3/2024 7:53:30 AM

Great article…. Caring for my mom with dementia is almost constantly bringing up the bad days of my childhood . This helps me to again try to leave it there and take captive my thoughts that He wants me to have. Thank you .