Why Are People So Mean?

Why Are People So Mean?
Thursday, March 30, 2023 by Cindy Sproles

I’m grateful that Jesus wasn’t mean. Imagine if He would have been a stinker to folks. Just imagine. His plan for us would have been shut down. The question then and now would be the same. Why do people have to be so mean?

I’m traveling this week with two wonderful friends. We are each different in looks, size, hair color, and even skin color. Our conversation on the way to Alabama was light. We giggled a bit, joked around, and even teased each other, but then at some point, the conversation turned serious.

As we passed from state to state, we noticed churches and office buildings held their flags at half-mast. These churches and businesses were honoring the families of the six who were shot and killed in Nashville. This whole incident broke my heart. That, regardless of how folks want to blame it on mental illness, was just mean. It. Should. Not. Happen.

As we traveled, my friend, who is a beautiful woman of color, began to tell us about incidents of prejudice that had happened to her – not as a child or young adult, but in the last year. The more she talked, the more the tears pooled in my eyes. I couldn’t hold my emotion anymore. I had to wonder, yet again, why are people so mean?

“This breaks my heart. I’m so sorry people said those things to you.” The things she’d experienced – the words that had been flung at her simply because of her skin color – were just m-e-a-n. I was broken on behalf of all those who were so….well…stupid. I mean, look at this picture. It’s obvious WHO makes the better picture and it ain’t me! (And so you know, I asked Edwina if I could post the picture. She gave me permission. And, she’s read this post and given me her blessing.)

I will be honest, I hear so much from others that just rings true to “entitlement,” that I’ve grown a bit calloused. That made me ashamed. How could someone who despises meanness miss my own judgmental thoughts? But that’s how Satan works. He sneaks up on us and cunningly twists or even hides our thoughts of goodness from us. He slips in those crummy ideas, that though they may not be mean words, desensitize us to the feelings of others.

Meanness doesn’t just happen with a slap in the face or a punch to the gut. Meanness happens the easiest with the words that fall from our mouths. The hardest thing is learning to harness the words that make the dents. Are we perfect? Nope. But we can certainly begin to make an effort to change how we think, how we speak, and how we treat others.

Perhaps I’ll have a badge made that says, “Stop the meanness.” If I wear that badge, will it bring about awareness? It may make folks ask questions, but the biggest impact will be when I begin to change. My changes will overtly affect others, and perhaps they will change. And then their changes will make changes, and meanness becomes a loss.

Before you toss out an opinion about anyone, THINK. There is probably more to their story than you can possibly imagine.

I’m reminded of that children’s song from Sunday school.

Jesus loves the little children, all the children of the world. Red, brown, yellow, black, and white, they are precious in His sight. Jesus loves the little children of the world. (Click to be reminded by the little ones and then remember those wee ones who died in Nashville. Oh, Lord, hear our cries.)

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Comments

Melody Morrison From Mooresville At 4/17/2023 10:13:08 AM

The real killer with kids is if they are not taught the right way to respond and to choose kindness, they often adapt that same callousness we do as grown-ups. We have to do a better job with ourselves and ALL children. Thanks for the perfect illustration... and the reminder we all need to change.

Reply by: Cindy Sproles

Indeed. Well stated.

Theresa Parker Pierce From Granite Quarry NC At 3/31/2023 4:33:24 PM

Thank you for bringing to light that we still have work to do. Our testimony depends on it. I stood up to bullies for others but not myself. Meaness is never acceptable.

Reply by: Cindy Sproles

It isn't. And it makes me sad.

Barbara Latta From GA At 3/31/2023 4:15:59 PM

My granddaughter is only in the second grade and already has been subjected to bullying. She has come home from school crying and it breaks my heart. I try to tell her what they say is not true. It is only because they are displaying a heart that is not right.

Reply by: Cindy Sproles

Little ones just don't understand. That is why teaching them forgiveness is vital.

Cindy Huff From oklahoma At 3/31/2023 10:57:11 AM

I'd love to see the meanness stop too. Thank you so much for sharing.

Reply by: Cindy Sproles

Well....

Maureen Miller From Waynesville, NC At 3/31/2023 7:20:19 AM

Thank you for this! Our daughter and I have this conversation often. She’s in eighth grade and, honestly, middle school girls can be so mean, about silly things. But it doesn’t stop the hurting. Once words are out, they can’t be put back, like paste squeezed from a tube of toothpaste.